Let Your Speech be Always with Grace

Colossians 4:5
Walk in wisdom toward them that are without, redeeming the time. Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.

To some people, the things I am about to say are common sense. Some people might not even need this instruction, but I find that more and more people these days are in need of this instruction.

Before going further, one must be familiar with these two scriptures, or some of my comments might not be fully understood.

1 Corinthians 3:1-2 (KJV and NKJV)
And I, brethren, could not speak unto you as unto spiritual, but as unto carnal, even as unto babes in Christ.
I have fed you with milk, and not with meat: (KJV) for until now you were not able to receive it, and even now you are still not able (NKJV)

Matthew 13:3-23
And he spake many things unto them in parables, saying, Behold, a sower went forth to sow;
And when he sowed, some seeds fell by the way side, and the fowls came and devoured them up:
Some fell upon stony places, where they had not much earth: and forthwith they sprung up, because they had no deepness of earth:
And when the sun was up, they were scorched; and because they had no root, they withered away.
And some fell among thorns; and the thorns sprung up, and choked them:
But other fell into good ground, and brought forth fruit, some a hundredfold, some sixtyfold, some thirtyfold.
Who hath ears to hear, let him hear.
(Continuing with verse 18) Hear ye therefore the parable of the sower.
When any one heareth the word of the kingdom, and understandeth it not, then cometh the wicked one, and catcheth away that which was sown in his heart. This is he which received seed by the way side.
But he that received the seed into stony places, the same is he that heareth the word, and anon with joy receiveth it;
Yet hath he not root in himself, but dureth for a while: for when tribulation or persecution ariseth because of the word, by and by he is offended.
He also that received seed among the thorns is he that heareth the word; and the care of this world, and the deceitfulness of riches, choke the word, and he becometh unfruitful.
But he that received seed into the good ground is he that heareth the word, and understandeth it; which also beareth fruit, and bringeth forth, some an hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty.

There are many zealots for Yahweh and the truth. It seems that they are coming more and more common lately. This is good. They, like myself, cannot get enough of talking about scriptures. When we talk about it, it is sometimes hard not to let the excitement show through our voice. We want to show (and prove to) everyone the new truth that we have found. I have noticed, though, there are many people that are unskilled in the art of discussion, and there are many people that think that it is their job to prove the truth to someone else. It is NOT your job to prove a doctrine! Even if this doctrine is something that would keep them out of the Kingdom if they don't know it! The Holy Spirit is ultimately the one that will do the teaching. Your job is more to plant seeds to everyone, to give milk to babes, and meat to adults. You might have learned new truths that are not for babes. If this is the case, you must keep giving milk to the babes and let them grow to adults before giving them meat. If you try to give the meat to babes, they will puke it out. Also, don't think you can force grow an infant by feeding him or her more milk than their stomach can take. When the infant pushes the bottle away, stop feeding! If you force feed the infant, he or she will not only puke, but will start to not like what you are feeding it.

Deuteronomy 4:29
But from there you will seek the LORD your God, and you will find Him if you seek Him with all your heart and with all your soul. (Also see Luke 11:9)

The truths of the scriptures will seldom fall into someone's lap. They must be seeking. If they don't seek, chances are, they won't find. If the infant’s arms are not outstretched for the bottle, then the only thing you should do is present the bottle to see if he or she wants it. Same applies for meat eaters. Many meat eaters will test the meat to see if it is good before eating a lot of it, so you might have to give them small bites at first and let them chew it. Then let them decide if they want more.

Since everyone is different, we must have different angles of presenting the truth. I do not teach atheists or evolutionists about how the laws of God still apply. I usually stick to Creation.

Psalm 19:1
The heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament sheweth his handywork.

Below are some of the different ways that I approached different people. It is from my experiences such as these that I developed the 7 principles that are listed at the end of this article.

The Mormon Missionaries
A preacher was once asked, "What shall I do if some Mormon missionaries knock on my door". The preacher said, "Just tell them you are not interested and shut the door". When I heard this, I thought, "Why would I shut the door? Someone is coming to MY door and asking ME, 'would I like to talk about Jesus'. Witnessing doesn't come any easier than that!"

Day 1 with the Mormons
So, when some Mormons came to my door and asked me this, of course, I invited them in. When I did this, I was not in delusion that one or both of the Mormons would denounce Mormonism before exiting my home. My goal too was not to "win" an argument. My goal on their first visit was not even to plant seeds, but it was to till the ground. I say, plant seeds everywhere, and if you have time, till the soil first. My goal on their first visit was to get to know them and maybe learn a little more about Mormonism. I asked them about their lives. I had a good and easy conversation with them and did not challenge their doctrines at all (I had studied a little about Mormonism, and I could have asked some real hard questions, but again, my goal at first was to till the soil). I might have said something like, "Tell me about how Joseph Smith was able to write all of this" and "What happened to those golden plates". When they answered, I did not challenge them. I said something like, "okay" or "that is interesting" whether I agreed with them or not. I must admit, I behaved very well. There were a couple of times I wanted to burst out laughing at their answer, but managed to swallow down and say, "That is interesting". Don't think you have only one day to teach the Mormons. They'll be back (if handled right).

Day 2 with the Mormons
The Mormon missionaries keep records of everyone they visit. They won't forget to come back or forget where you live. When they did come back, I again was very easy on them. I read some of the book they gave me and asked some questions. I also asked them why they keep the Sabbath on Sunday when it was even admitted by the Catholic Church that they changed that day of worship from Saturday to Sunday. I asked them if they thought that the Pope was a prophet or if he has the authority to make such a change. I pretty much left that discussion alone after those comments. If I remember right, they told me that they knew the Sabbath was on Saturday, but because all the other denominations were worshiping on Sunday, they felt that Sunday must be the right day to worship now. I doubt that statement is their official church doctrinal statement. I think they were caught unprepared on how to answer that. (This is why you don't send babes to do the job of adults). I pretty much left the Sabbath topic alone after that. I wasn't planning on winning any arguments or challenging them too much. I then asked for a copy of an older addition of the "Book of Mormon". I don't remember if they even asked why I wanted it. They were able to give me a copy shortly after the request. I asked them for this copy, because I wanted later to show them some major changes in the "Book of Mormon".

Day 3 with the Mormons
I asked the Mormons why there were major changes and additions or deletions to the 1977 copy of the "Book of Mormon" and the current copy. If these "golden plates" are no longer available, how can there be additions, or deletions? And how can someone say, "This word should have been translated as ________?" I gave them both books to look at. It was a sight to see. One Mormon looked at one book, and then looked at the other, then back at the first book again with a confused and disbelief look on his face. This really stumped them. It was completely quiet for a long half minute. They then gave me a bogus (off the cuff) answer of, "Well, one of our prophets must have noticed this error and corrected it". I did not tell them how stupid that answer was. I just said, "Oh, well...they should have at least put an asterisks here and at the bottom of the page noted that their "prophet" so-n-so noticed this error and "corrected" it. I left it at that. After this major point, many would think that the Mormon missionaries would realize they have a harder task ahead of them than these teenagers (I doubt any of them were older than 21) were prepared for. Most would think they would realize that they are wasting their time and no longer come to my house. This was not the case. They came back!

Day 4 with the Mormons
I hit them hard the last time. I decided to take it easy this time. I mainly did small talk and I am not even sure if we talked much about scripture. I asked them to tell me more about themselves. I said things like, "I bet a lot of people curse you or slam doors in your face. I bet you have many stories to tell." Then I let them tell some of their experiences. The sad thing is that I bet a lot of people who cursed at them were "Christians". They ended up inviting me to one of their services. Since I love study, I figured, what better way to study Mormonism, than to study it on the inside, I accepted their invitation. It was worth it. I learned a lot of how they conduct services and I learned a little more about what they believe. I also built more rapport with them, and they kept coming back.

Day 5 with the Mormons
I did hit them a little harder this time. I pointed out some more of their changes and pointed out to blatant plagiarism. I did it in a very calm and inquisitive way and made sure I didn't beat them up so bad that they would not want to come back. I was successful! They kept coming back for more! Boy, these guys can take a beating!

I forget exactly how many more times they came back. I later moved from that house. I have little doubt that they would have still tried to come back. Did I ever see them convert? No. Does that mean I was unsuccessful? No. I did not expect them to convert while on their "mission". I only wanted to plant some questions, in hope that those questions would keep nagging them until they start truly seeking answers. Maybe one day, when they are 30-something, they will come out of that cult. Maybe, it was the seeds I planted that helped. Maybe I just plant seeds in the midst of thorns. Whatever the case, I planted the seeds. I trust that Yahweh has a waterer picked out and that He will do the rest.

My wife's conversion
When I was dating my wife (I have learned lately that we should not 'date', but that is another topic), I was already Torah observant and she was not. She was not your average Christian though. She had won a national award for a Bible quiz competition and had many complete books of the bible memorized verbatim. She was also somewhat mature in the spirit, so I didn't have to keep her on the bottle long before she was able to eat meat. When searching for a wife, I knew that I needed someone that not only believed in God, but believed that the scriptures were true and wanted to obey God, no matter what. When I found her, I didn't force meat down her. I did not even tell her that I was Torah observant (she didn't ask either). We started with small conversations about God and the scriptures. I fed her little at a time. Instead of telling her at our first conversation, "I keep the holy days and the Sabbath and the rest of the law", when Passover came, I said, "Do you know about Passover? Do you know about all the cool things that link the Messiah's death and Passover? Let me show you this." When the feast of Pentecost came, I showed her all the cool things that linked the first Pentecost at Mt. Sinai, with the Pentecost in Acts. I am not even sure at this time if she knew that I believed the law still applied today. I didn't think that I needed to tell her. Again, I had to give her milk before I could give her meat. She grew. I kept feeding her (not too much at one time). Now, she is Torah observant.

My neighbors' future conversions
I can tell that the neighbors that I have currently are not seeking. They do not have their hands out to receive the bottle. I have placed the bottle on the shelf and I am working on tilling the ground. I eat with them, I play card games and board games with them, but I rarely talk scriptures. They have noticed that I keep different holidays than they do and that I keep the Sabbath. I gave them my book "Does the Law of God Still Apply" to show them why I believe the things I believe. I am sure that they haven't read my book yet, but it is there for when they start seeking. Until they start seeking, I am going to witness without words.

“Preach the Gospel at all times and when necessary use words.” - St. Francis of Assisi

I am not a Catholic, and some people will probably get real upset that I even quoted a "saint" but I do believe he was right on with this quote. We can find small pieces of good meat even from the bony fish (just chew it good so you can spit out the bones).

My Bible Study friends' conversions
I used to have Bible studies with a few people. At this time, I was keeping the Sabbath and Holy Days, but I did not tell them this. We met for well over a year, and they never knew (although one time I did get into a discussion about keeping the Sabbath). However, both of them knew that I hosted a Passover Seder at my house once. I planted some seeds every now and then. I was able to invite one person to a Passover Seder that I hosted and gave him a book about the other feasts. I remember showing up to visit one of my friends on a Holy Day. I was supposed to be working. He asked me, "Why aren't you working today?” I just said, "I took today off". My friend at the time was already well versed and knew that this day was a Holy Day. I do believe that he started wondering to himself if I took the day off because I was celebrating that feast, but I did not tell him why I took it off (and he did not ask). I later went overseas (but still never told them plainly that I kept the holy days). About a year later, I found out from one of my friends that he was now keeping the Torah. I told him, "Cool, I do too". Then I found out that another person in that group was keeping the Torah too! This made me very happy. I enjoyed their company before (I always enjoy hanging out with people that are hungry), but now we are all able to sharpen each other much more. Yahweh is great!

I am not saying that I "converted" them, but I do believe that I planted some seeds.

1 Corinthians 3:6
I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God made it grow.

Most people are too focused on how many notches they can put in their bible. They want to be the planter, the waterer, and God. They want to take all the credit for the conversions, but when it comes down to it, it is the Holy Spirit that does the converting. We are just the tool (the fork) that delivers the meat (the Word of God) to the mouth. Their teeth are their spiritual maturity and the digestive system is the Holy Spirit. They can pick up any half way decent fork. They don't have to stick with one fork either. In fact, the fork is not always an essential part of this process (I use my fingers a lot).

7 Basic principles to being a good "fork" (witnessing tool)

1. Build rapport (till the soil) with the person. This is not always a must, but by building a rapport, you will not only be working on #2 of this list, but you will be getting them to open up and trust you more [Some people will not take candy (or meat) from strangers]. This could take years and does not necessarily require words. Sometimes, "tilling the soil" might take years of just being a good neighbor or co-worker.

2. Know the person. Know what he or she is ready for and how much that person can "eat or drink" (You should have learned this at step 1, but I made it a separate step because of its importance).

3. Do not force feed or overfeed the person. When the adult puts down the fork or the babe pushes away the bottle, they don't want any. Do not force feed! You also might have to take that food back home and "prepare" it better.

4. Remember Colossians 4:5. When you are presenting the truths, you should have somewhat mastered the art of discussing differences. If you seem to be getting into heated debates more often than the normal person, chances are, it is you that does not know how to discuss things in a proper manner and you might have to either learn the art of discussing differences or don't discuss!

Sometimes you might show something that really irritates them (it is not your fault, sometimes salt can irritate). You might have shown a scripture that goes against their tradition or show historical evidence that one of their holidays originated as a pagan festival that included sacrificing to idols and that they still practice much of those pagan traditions. Sometimes facts don't settle well (they might not be ready for this tough meat). You must know when to back off. Again, remember, your goal is NOT to "win" arguments!

This should be a given, but I find that it is not...NO FINGER POINTING AND NO YELLING! The only time you should have your pointer finger out is to point at scriptures! Do NOT POINT AT PEOPLE!!! Even if they point first or say something that offends you! If you have a hard time with this, then either sit on your hands or don't get into discussions! Raising your voice and pointing at people does not make your argument any stronger!

5. Be well prepared for the discussion. Don't bother trying to show someone the "truth" when you do not even know the scriptures on that topic or you do not even have a good argument laid out. If you are going to lead a discussion in a topic, then you should have already divided this meat, chewed it and re-chewed it several times before presenting it. If you fail to do this, not only do you risk giving someone unclean meat, but your argument will look weak and you might get frustrated when you start to lose your argument and you might try to compensate for your lack of knowledge by raising your voice or start attacking them in some other way.

Also, it is fine to admit you don't know something and when someone makes a good point, it doesn't hurt to tell them, "That is a good point".

6. Ask them questions. If you are just presenting scriptures, many times their brain stops working. You should ask them questions to turn their brain back on. Asking them questions can get them to "seek" for an answer. You don't need to force them to answer right away or ever. The goal of asking them questions should not be to stump them so you can "win" the argument. It is so they will think on the question and seek for the answer.

You can turn most statements into questions. Instead of saying something like, "See...God said here in Exodus 31:16-17 that the Sabbath is a sign forever", you can turn that into a question like, "Doesn't God say here in Exodus that the Sabbath is a sign forever? What do you think He meant by this?” Then pause and wait for an answer. Let them chew the meat! Instead of saying, "See, we will be keeping the feast of Tabernacles after the Messiah returns (Zechariah 14:16)", say, "Isn't this verse talking about after the Messiah returns?" "Doesn't it say that we will be keeping the feast of Tabernacles at this time?” Again, don't forget to pause! Let them chew! And remember, they don't have to answer. Don't try and force an answer! If you see that they will not be able to give a good answer, tell them, "you can think and pray about it, and answer it later". Then, leave that question alone.

You can also ask them questions that they can easily answer to lead you to another question. For example, ask them something like, "Do you think that it is a sin to marry your sister? If so, why?" If they say, "Because it is not 'loving your neighbor'", then say, "You have answered right, and Jesus said that 'all of the law hangs on love thy neighbor and love God'. What law do you think he was referring to when He said this?”

If they give you a poor answer, you don't have to point out how poor the answer is. Chances are, in the back of their mind, they know their answer is not strong. Feel free to move on to your next question without demanding a better answer. If they give you an answer that goes against the scriptures, you may ask them, "what about the scripture that says, _______", but don't bombard them with scriptures to show their error.

My point here is, turn as many facts into questions as possible. This will force them to chew on their food.

7. Be well prepared for after the discussion. People's spiritual stomachs can only take so much at one time. Don't try to force a huge chunk of meat to someone in one sitting. Plus, some meat is tough to chew and will take a long time to digest. This is why I wrote my book "Does the Law of God Still Apply". When presenting this huge chunk of meat, I give them a small piece and let them divide it and chew it and then let them take home a to-go-box so they can re-chew it again and again. If the food is good, they'll come back.

Home Page