(This article should be read after the article linked here: Polygyny )
I have a few friends that have pondered the issue of practicing polygamy. I have also some friends who personally know several polygamists. I gathered some info from them and did much reasoning myself and came up with these points to help make a polygamist marriage work. I am NOT promoting polygyny. If someone comes to me and asks for my counsel, chances are high that I would not support his decision to be in a polygamist relationship, but I would also not want to give him advise that is in direct conflict of what the Spirit is telling him. Therefore, I would try to find out if he is being led by the flesh or the Spirit in this matter and advise him to pray a lot and make sure he is hearing the Father's instructions in this case. If the person believes that he is being led by the Spirit to be in a polygamist relationship, these are some tips that I would give to them to help achieve his goal and to make the relationship go as smoothly as possible (and if the husband and his wives can be happy and peaceful in that relationship, then I would give them major kudos for this huge accomplishment!):
1. Marry the “trophy” wife first!
It would be very hard to approach a “trophy” woman to ask her if she would like to be the second wife. Chances are higher (although in America, still very slim), if you had the “trophy” wife first and then asked a woman that is not as pretty or as desirable to become your second wife.
2. Make sure that your first wife is not just “ok” with the idea, but wants to be in a polygamous marriage more than you do. (It is best to make sure she is on board with this type of relationship BEFORE you get married!)
3. Have the first wife pick your second wife for you.
You are extending your family. If your first wife is not on board with this idea, you will probably be causing much more turmoil in your life than you want to deal with. You want your wives to be able to totally get along with each other. (If this is done, the chances are high that your wife will pick someone that would not be able to compete with her status…another reason to marry the trophy wife first).
4. The Scriptures say that your duties to your first wife shall not diminish.
So, you better count the times you have relations and be able to step it up and keep her just as happy. I personally would include not just physical relations, but one on one conversations and just hanging out with your wife. If you spend 2 hours a day, playing monopoly and reading books with your wife, you should not cut it to 1 hour a day just because you married another wife.
5. Have a separate house next door for your new wife.
From the people I talked to, the ones who did this have a higher success rate.
6. Have a large income!
Face it; a Billionaire can practice polygamy much easier than the average person. Not only because he can afford to support them, but his financial status will attract them easily.
7. Do not get a state issued marriage license.
If you get a state issued marriage license, you enter into a contract with the state. In that contract you accept all of their rules and regulations concerning your marriage. Currently, they only allow one wife at a time. If you have a state issued marriage license, I would suggest not going against that contract that you made with the state. You will be much better off legally, by dissolving that contract than you would be if you broke it by getting another wife.
Again, I am not saying it is a good idea or a bad idea to practice polygyny. Since I do not want even the chance of giving advice to someone that might be contrary to what the Spirit is telling that person, I will default to "if you are being led by the flesh, it is bad idea". Taking a wife can make a man's life great or miserable. Always make sure you are being led by the Spirit.
