When a man hath taken a new wife, he shall not go out to war, neither shall he be charged with any business: but he shall be free at home one year, and shall cheer up his wife which he hath taken.
Here is another law that God told us the reason for. God (who loves his people and knows what is best for them and their relationships) thought that it was a good thing for a husband not to go off to war during the first year of his marriage so he can stay home and "cheer up his wife". Maybe, God (being wiser than us) knew that the first year of marriage is very important to the health of the marriage. Maybe he knew that if the husband focused on “cheering up his wife” for the first year, they would both get to know each other and their needs and grow in their love for each other enough to establish a good foundation. When one has the law in his heart, he can look at this verse and realize much more.
I am currently a newly wed (3/8/08). Here is what I believe the spirit says to me from that one verse (remember, let the spirit guide you):
1. The first year is the most critical year of marriage and that one’s duties to “cheer up his wife” during that first year should be placed higher than even his duties of defending his country. (So for the Marines that are reading this…your order of duty during that first year of marriage is no longer “God, country, family…”, but “God and wife”).
2. Spend much quality time together. Do not have many (if any) “boys nights out” (or girls’ night out) when you can be spending the time with your new bride (or husband).
3. Even though it only takes one of you to grocery shop, if the other spouse is not doing anything that is so important that it can not be put off for an hour, then the spouse should volunteer to help grocery shop (even if it is just hanging out and talking during the shopping).
4. Do not get jobs that work conflicting schedules. If you are working a night shift job, and she is working a day shift job, then one of you should get your schedule changed or quit. It would be better to live in a smaller apartment the first year of marriage, than to be forced to work conflicting schedules or much overtime to pay the rent. Don’t hesitate to put your career on hold so you can spend more time with your spouse.
5. Neither spouse should have a job that requires the other to spend the night out often.
6. Do not spend countless hours watching television (even if it is with your spouse). When you are watching television you do not get to communicate much with your spouse. Some shows every now and then (be lead by the spirit to know how much) is okay, do not have the majority of your conscious time together be in front of the television.
7. Always keep in mind that your duty (husband) is to “cheer up” your wife.
I am not suggesting that after the first year of marriage, the husband is free from “cheering up his wife”. I believe that focusing on “cheering up your wife” for the first year of marriage can help set the tone for the rest of the marriage. It also lets the newly weds learn more about each other so they can be able to better meet their spouse's needs and wants in the years to come.
Here is a question for those who believe that this law no longer applies:
Why did God think it was so important for a man to stay home from war to “cheer up his wife” back then, but he does not think of it as important enough to follow today?
Malachi 3:6
For I am Yahweh, I change not;
